Unpacking Stress From Breakdown to Breakthrough
Sandy Wright
October 18, 2024
What, me stressed? Nah, I handle it okay. I just keep moving forward, grab a minute, think about exercising and settle in with a glass of wine. Hmmm, but what is that tension I feel in my neck muscles? Yeah, I'm a little tired and don't seem to get enough sleep or feel rested, but that's because I'm so busy. Stomach is upset on and off, so it must have been something I ate. Couldn't be stress cuz I'm handling it like I handle everything else. This self-talk resonate with you? Why do we deny stress until the consequences hit us like a 2 x 4 in the back of the head? What are some of the signs we could pay attention to so we can shift stress into resilience, clarity and focus, calm and balance? Check in with your body regularly, especially when you acknowledge life/work is throwing stress at you: --Do you become more easily frustrated or angry? --"What if" about current situations or the future? --Feel overwhelmed like you just can't keep up? --Experience rapid changes in mood...happy one minute, down the next? --Tell yourself you're not good enough or you're afraid someone will discover you really don't know what you're doing --Feel alone in your world? These can too often manifest in our everyday life if we ignore the signs of stress. We can experience responsibility avoidance, changes in sleep habits, increase use of alcohol or other crutches to find relief, isolate or feel restless. When thoughts start racing like they are at the track, we forget the simplest things or lose a sense of organization, have difficulty concentrating and staying on task. Then, it's time to take inventory on our stress levels and consider new habits to deal with it once we admit stress is active. That's not a weakness, it's a sign of inner strength, self-awareness and the ability to be present to people, work and most importantly to ourselves. Harvard Health acknowledges the positive aspects of stress. The "fight or flight" can get us through tough times. An immediate stress response can diminish once the perceived "danger" or stressful situation decreases. If stress is a frequent visitor, however, it can do harm like chronic inflammation, reduction in the body's immune system and more, which raises the risk of serious illness. Here are some tools to consider if you really want to keep your stress (a part of life) at a healthier level: --Exercise...some of us aren't gym people so what else can you do? Take a daily walk, try yoga, biking, hiking, bodyweight exercises at home or even building more active movement into daily tasks. --Scientists have told us that stress and sleep are partners. Stress can lead to insomnia. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has labeled American's lack of sleep as an epidemic. It's not only about stress reduction, it's also about your overall health and wellbeing. --Face stress straight up. When we run away from it or ignore it, it gains more power over us. Try to better understand where it's coming from. Then, you have options to shift it. Take a moment and let yourself feel and reflect. Identify patterns that don't serve you well. And, then you can decide what to do about it. --Mindfulness in the popular sense can be a turn off for some people. But, the practice of meditation (for 1 minute or 30) invites you to be in another zone. It is a practice that takes time to train your mind to stop running endless thoughts and just be. Frustration may come initially, but the rewards are endless. Try a guided meditation on YouTube to get started. It's a prompt that invites you to go inside and rediscover your beauty and your possibilities. And, there is so much more to mindfulness you can experiment with if you want to be more present in the moment. Learn how to respond, not react. Take a moment to be fully present to whatever you are doing and/or whoever you are engaging. --Take a social media break an hour, a day, a week...as much as you can given work obligations. Silence is a tough journey for some, but the benefits of finding silent moments can improve concentration, stimulate creativity, give your brain some growth food and even lower blood pressure. Try it, you might like it. Just remember it's a practice not a perfect. --Planning ahead with Plan A, B and C just in case and being able to accept change, both expected and unexpected. --Do a nightly brain dump. Get all the day's "stuff" out of your head and on paper. Most things will be there in the morning, but they don't have to dominate your sleep. --Eating healthier (which could be a mix of what is convenient and what takes time to prepare) is key to overall wellbeing. What would this look like for you? The four A's of stress management are Avoid, Alter, Adapt or Accept. Avoid guides us to say "no" to the stressor, set boundaries or simply stay away from people or circumstances that crank up your stress-o-meter. Alter guides us to shift our story about something that stresses us. Identifying stress triggers and acknowledging them gives us the ability to change our perspective. Adapt is a way to focus on the positive (not like Mary Poppins) by reframing the problem. What is really going on? Is it inside me or outside? Do I have the power to change it or can I change something in my environment? my relationships? Accept the fact that no matter how hard we try, there are just some things in life that we can't change. Remember, control is an illusion and the only one we can change is ourselves. So, I'm going back to rearranging my workout clothes in the drawer..no, I'm going to put them out so I can see I'm prepared to shift my behavior and thinking. Now, the hard, rewarding work begins.
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